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SECRET TRAVELER

Advice to anyone who travels and has a long-distance relationship

I've never seen myself in a long-distance relationship that would work and have therefore never given it a chance. I now know it’s about finding the right person.

When I fell in love with J, I really had no idea it would happen. I loved my peripatetic life. Obviously, I had thought about having a family one day, but I never wanted to sacrifice my freedom. I even thought that being a single parent was maybe something for me who still travels at least every other week. I had got used to sharing my life and my experiences with just myself. I had got used to experiencing something fantastic and thinking “this is something I’m never going to be able to explain to or share with someone else” and still being able to enjoy it. 

But then I got struck by the proverbial lightning and fell madly in love. Unfortunately with a person who does not live where I live, nor in any of the 4-5 places I travel to regularly. But in an inaccessible place in Spain.

Which means we have a long-distance relationship. I've always tried to avoid this. I always blamed my distaste for long distance relationships and thirst for freedom when various love interests or flings have wanted to take the next step in recent years. But as my grandmother used to say: “You know something is right when you can’t stop yourself.”

And that’s the case now. It’s simply impossible to resist. 

Obviously, it was difficult not seeing each other as often as I would have liked (which would have been every day). But above all, it’s difficult not living in the same place. That J is not there when I come home, and that J is not at home when I feel lonely is so tough. I want to share my life with J. 

To everyone who finds themselves in the same situation I would like to say this: it is possible to have a long-distance relationship. J and I text and call each other all the time. Video calls are also good, there’s coverage pretty much everywhere these days. With a bit of forward planning, it’s possible to contact each other even when you don't have coverage. Such as when I knew I would be offline for twelve hours when I took the train through Mongolia. I then made sure I could send flowers and a message on a card to J in a hotel room in NYC on the morning I could not get in touch. Not so much that J would have been upset if I hadn't been in touch but more for me who thinks that little things are important. 

If you are not in almost the same time zone, 12 hours is about the perfect time difference.  Because then we’re pretty much in sync. One of us says good morning and the other says good night. A six-hour time difference is much worse. Then, the evening is starting for one of us, while the evening is ending for the other.

Naturally, it’s absolutely fantastic when we do see each other. Such as two weeks ago when we met in Paris on the Friday evening, traveled to a wedding in Provence on the Saturday and then spent Sunday on a delightful farm outside Paris.

Or like now when I’m sitting in the arrivals lounge and have just got a text from J saying they are just coming through passport control. When it hits me that we now have all of 48 hours together, I get a tingling feeling from head to toe. I think about all the things we’re going to do (which is not much if I’m honest, we’re mostly just going to spend time with each other) and that we can finally be in physical contact again. Over the past 12 days we’ve been apart, I’ve almost not dared to think we’d be together again, but now the time has arrived, a time of total happiness. Time to turn off the computer.

Grand Amour Hotel

So wonderful to be back at the Grand Amour Hotel in Paris. It must be the 10th or 15th time I've stayed there. It’s been a couple of months since my last stay, but it’s always just as good to come back.

Oslo Gardemoen Airport

Was there in the week and airport security is really incredibly slow sometimes.

October 25, 2018

Secret Traveler

Age: 31
EuroBonus level: Diamond
No. of times around the world by air: 20
Total time in the air per year: 1,6 weeks (3%)
No. of countries visited: 34
Most frequent destinations: ARN, LHR/LCY, OSL, DPS
Favorite destination: The Ligurian coast
Never leaves home without: Noise Canceling Headphones (Bose QC35) and Passport

I’m an entrepreneur in Europe with the entire world as my workplace. It’s lucky I love traveling as I spend much of my working day on the move as well as my leisure time - there’s so much to see and new people to meet.

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